My Way

Hi. I’m listening to Frank Sinatra’s My Way. Go listen to that as well!

2016 has been the most emotionally-exhausting year of my life, no kidding. I had ups and downs which were as unpredictable-but-can-be-predicted-as-well as global market charts. On the first half of 2016, I was living nightmares; thankfully life became better and better as months went by.

It was a hell of a year: I jumped into and dragged myself out of that hell with my eyes covered. I love myself for having a courage to jump in, yet I hated myself as well for being blind and stupid. (Note the different use of tenses.) I never regret though; I learn a lot by making mistakes.

However I think 2017 will be exciting! (No, exciting is not a right word. Gotta be more than that!) I am going to try new things like trading, investing, and building a business–things that I have never thought I will be doing before. I am going to travel, work on my final project while doing classes at the same time (yes, I know), and make more money (yeaaah). It’s a year of exploring and creating!

I have explored a lot, but now is the time to give time and effort to do what I like to do since I have nothing to stop me!

Yesterday I met my friends, which consists of 5 people including me, and I felt a peaceful happiness when I listened to their stories about traveling, family, and love life. I also felt, I don’t know, nostalgic? Bittersweet? Because I know that sooner or later we will go our ways, will not see each other that often (even now, not so much), and everything will be different. It is expected to happen, but knowing it will happen doesn’t make me feel any different. This is the transition phase that I am always thinking of: feelings fade, people change. We are going to speak in a different “language” and meet people who speak the same language as each of us.

And that would be very fun! (: We can share a lot more different things, make each other gains new knowledge when we share stories about our new worlds, and be closer than ever because we know we are still the same even though we live a different worlds.

Because, deep down, we know that our ties are stronger than friends. Yes, people come and go, but family stays.



Win Your Friends Back!

Time flies, people change. I have had many friends, and lost them too. Very normal, right? That’s life. But, do I really want to just let them go and not doing anything about it? Well, it depends whether they are toxic or not. Even so, I have several ways to win my friends back.

  1. Reach them first and ask how they are doing. Are they good?
  2. Catch up. Tell each other stories and pretend for a moment that everything is okay between us.
  3. Tell the truth about how my friends and I feel toward each other. Be brutally honest. Hurt each other, scratch the wound, and accept it.
  4. Start healing each other’s wound. Be supportive, be forgiving, and be kind. After all my friends and I used to be living life together for a while.
  5. Hug and laugh with them. Joke about the old times and learn something from that together. I never let my past define what I am now. I am the one who choose who I want to be; I am the one who choose myself.
  6. Remember important days, like birthdays, and celebrate it. Or at least congratulate them for it. Every person likes to feel recognised by others.
  7. Catch up with them again randomly. What happens out of the blue are often remembered for a long time that the ones which are not.
  8. The most important thing: I’ll show my true colours. Once again, tell and show the truth throughout the words, the gestures, and everything. I’m about to win my friends back. It’s going to be useless if I’m being fake.
  9. If being with them makes me down or makes me hate myself again, I won’t bother hanging out with them. Why should I? It won’t do me any good. I won’t punch myself too hard anymore when I’m making mistake; there’s no use. And if having them around makes me feel like I’m punched in the gut, why bother?
  10. Mentally prepare to all those things.

Now if you ask: did you do that? Nope, not yet. Will you do that? Maybe yes, maybe no. I don’t know yet. Having friends around is fun, but being alone is fun too. Besides, it’s perfectly normal to lose friends because, eventually, my way of thinking will be different from my old friends. I will make new ones (and already did), who have the same goals or interests as I do. I’m going through that transition, when all my friends are now reaching their dreams. I’m doing that as well.

Losing friends is okay.
Winning them back is awesome.
Separating my way with theirs while knowing we are all running toward our own version of happiness is perfectly heart-fulfilling.